Patronizing Female Seeks Readers - 22

I’m a college graduate. I did an internship that was exhausting, and sucked up most of my savings. Thank you internship for working me as a slave, having no funds to hire me and paying me solely in experience that, with time, runs dry. So now, I work for Daddy, and look for jobs in between customers. Ideal, isn’t it?

My job gets boring. I sit by myself, with a television, maybe some brain-cell ruining tabloids and the internet. Thankfully the internet has become the world’s number one resource for job hunting. So I spend half my day sending out my resume and cover letter, and cover letter and resume and resume and cover letter. Although it takes practically no effort, for me it’s an anxiety ridden process. To kill time in-between unemployment heart attacks I started poking around in the Craigslist.com personal ads. Here are some examples and a few of my own thoughts, which you can laugh at, or hate on, either way you’re still reading. Craigslist is set up by date, with postings portrayed by headlines first. Personal ads are basically self promotions. Here are a couple of my recent favorites…

Men Searching for Women

“Looking for my future ex wife – 28”; Besides the fact that this headline is generally distasteful, we can all bet a lot of money that he’s never even been a relationship. And if he has, this headline is why he is single.

“WEL HUNG BLACK MAN FOR WHITE WOMAN - 32”; Rumors that black man have bigger penises than white men have been running rampant since forever. Obviously it’s the head on your shoulders that’s not attracting the ladies.

“Miss having a girl in my life – 22”; Being desperate doesn’t work in person. If anybody actually responds to this dudes ad and throws him a pity party, than they belong together.

“GREAT FOOT MASSAGE BY HANDSOME, SANE M…PLEASE B 4 REAL!! – 40”; SERIOUSLY?!?!? If you are announcing in your headline that you are sane, it’s more than likely that you are not.

“tons of bud light! Ladies free beer! – 47”; Someone call "To Catch a Predator"...quickly.

“All women on CL are fake—prove me wrong!!! – 53”; I'm jumping on that bandwagon. Let's go ladies?

Besides the headlines being some of the funniest things I have ever read. The bodies of these ads are even more spectacular, pure gems. If you're ever bored, I suggest you peruse a couple. The majority of them are pathetic ramblings from lonely dudes, who don't think to use spell check or punctuation. Be warned, when you get to the posts that have pictures attached, if you don't run into a photo that is stock/generic like a clip-art rose, or beach scene it's, without a doubt, going to be an unsightly view of their junk.

WOMEN SEARCHING FOR MEN

"J.Lo booty with a heart of gold - w4m - 22"; Good thing the body of her ad talks about how she only wants NSA (no strings attached) sex and to have fun...because that's all she's going to get.

"Did you right ma nayme on tha overpass? SWF - W4M - 25";What does this mean??? Honestly this whole ad is too good, and too confusing not to post the whole thing. If someone can translate this for me, I'd love to know what the hell she is actually asking for.
"Hi I'm slim, petite and very highly sexed in a loving cuckold relationship with my partner Mark. I am seeking a special friend for longer term sexual friendship, someone who is comfy with the idea of me cuckolding mark. Looking for a genuine fun loving guy, preferably who can me in front of my partner, but not essential. Seeking a genuine guy who wants to be my main source of fun, who is prepared to on occasions stay with me at my partners. "

"Hot pussy girl - w4m - 27”; I think she got her point across.

"Neglected, Pregnant and extrmely - w4m - 28”; UM, this one scares me. I'm sorry unborn child.

Until next time....